Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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