I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
