Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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