drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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