dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
