the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
