I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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