Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
