I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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