I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
