i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
