I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
