I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
