woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
