I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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