OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
