hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
