Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
