did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
