Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
