Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
