just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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