he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
