You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
time to smoke my breakfast
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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