David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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