Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I deserve this hangover.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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