dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
