Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
