real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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