i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This gyro tastes like lonliness
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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