I must be too annoying 4 u.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
