the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
