I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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