I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
