you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
