I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i will never coherently bang her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
