2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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