I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
