Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
