It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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