so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
