There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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