I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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