what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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