my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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