Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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