Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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