I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
