Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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