i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
