my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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