i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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