dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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