I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
