We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
